Hey! It’s me. Doing the irregular blog post thing. LOL

I have something special for you this time, though. You see, given that it’s fall and Halloween season, and people are wandering around corn mazes and all of that…I thought I’d do a special post with chapter 8 of Blindness. I’m sharing the entire chapter of the book here. Blindness was one of the first books I published, shortly after the first two Waiting series books. It’s a bit love-triangle-ish (okay a lot love triangle-ish) so fair warning if that’s not your thing. It wasn’t always going to be that way, but when I got far enough into the story I just realized that yeah…that’s how it was going to be. A lost girl and a lost boy who just didn’t meet each other first.

I love this story. It was my favorite first kiss scene for a really long time (my new favorite first kiss is Joss and Wes by the way…for now). I love that scene so much, I did a fun little partnership with two of my favorite narrators – Kai Kennicott and Wen Ross. They’ve narrated a lot of my books – you can find all my audiobooks here – and while Blindness is not fully narrated (*I really hope to have it fully done one day – audiobooks are tricky and an expensive endeavor though) I at least have this very special best first-kiss. And it’s in a corn maze, amidst a haunted house, with fall and Halloween and the chill in the air all swirling around a kiss that shouldn’t but did and just had to because…well…fate.

So if you’d like to listen – here you go! And if you love Kai and Wen…check out some of my other audiobooks! I think you’ll love the listen!

If you’d like to read…I’m sharing the chapter below. Also…Blindness is on sale for .99 the week, and FREE in Kindle Unlimited! It’s my little Halloween treat for you all! I hope you enjoy. If not, maybe dive in to the Reeses. 😉

Blindness by Ginger Scott
Chapter 8 Excerpt – Copyright Ginger Scott

Chapter Eight CATCH ME IF I FALL

Gabe and Cody both dropped me off at my car after the diner, and by the time I got home, I had one missed call from Trevor. He was already gone by the time I called him back, “Out with the Sumners,” he said. In my message, I told him I had been at tutoring and just ate dinner on campus since his parents are never really here for a formal dinner.

Trevor didn’t call me back until the morning, and when he did, our conversation was short and sweet—which left me little time to spin lies. Trevor’s excited about my trip, and part of me is, too. But not as excited as I am to go to a haunted house with Cody. I’ve turned into a junior-high girl, and I can’t seem to stop the onslaught of bad decisions I’m making. I’m an addict.

In full-on withdrawals, I’m standing in the middle of my bathroom, my hair wrapped in one towel, and my body wrapped in another. I felt like a child yesterday at the restaurant when that waitress caught Cody’s attention, and I want to make a statement tonight—but what that statement is I have no idea.

I don’t really have a style. I’m vanilla—plain, blank…a canvas. I know how to put on make up, but I always seem to turn out looking like I’m ready for a graduate exam or an interview. I sift through my closet, which is full of blazers and blouses and tailored pants. During my internship, I work in a drafting studio at a high-top desk most of the day—my look, the only one I seem to have, revolves completely around this one small fact of my life.

I’m almost sad that I’m so void of color and identity, but I’m not even aware enough to be sad. I step out into my room and slide open the iPad for inspiration, going to some of the popular fashion websites. I blow past the pictures of pencil skirts and heels—I’m going to be walking through corn, so I need to be practical at some level. I land on the celebrity pages, and then it hits me.

I rush to my dresser and pull out black leggings and slide them up my legs. I drop the towels from my head and body and walk to my closet. Flipping through the hangars almost manically, I finally spot the gray sweater hanging sideways, half folded, on a wooden hanger in the back. I slip it on, and follow it up with my warm Ugg boots.

The neckline is low enough that you can sometimes get a glimpse of the lacy black bra I wear underneath. It’s a risk, but I feel up to the dare tonight. I dry my hair and tip the ends with a curling iron so my golden-brown locks are soft against the dark gray of my top. I go heavy on the eye shadow, and keep my lips simple with a little gloss. And when I back away, I’m almost stunned by what I see in the mirror.

I look hot—and I somehow pulled this off all on my own!

I’m smirking at my reflection when I hear a slight tapping on my bedroom door. My eyes shoot wide at the sound, and I’m dashing about the room, tossing towels and ugly clothing into the closet on the floor—like I’m hiding the evidence.

Cody’s back is turned when I finally open the door. I bite my lip, nervously anticipating his reaction—hoping he has one.

“Hey, so, do you mind if we take your car? My truck’s—” he freezes mid-sentence, his eyes roaming the full scope of my body— literally head to toe. “Holy…”

I can’t help the smile on my face. Even though my cheeks feel like they’re about to pop from emitting so much heat, I love the attention. “Is this…okay?” I ask, stretching out my leg to show off my boots. “I wasn’t really sure what to wear. I’ve never been to anything like this.”

Cody just continues to stare, no blinking, no breathing, only his eyes falling once again down the length of my body. I try to mask it as best I can, but I let myself take him in now. He’s wearing black jeans with a pair of purple DC’s. His shirt is a dark gray thermal that he has pulled over a white T. He actually styled his hair into a low hawk, and the closer I step to him, the more I take in his smell—it’s a wooded scent with a hint of orange, and I feel like I’m drunk; it’s so delicious.

I close my door and raise my eyebrows at Cody, now trying to prompt him to speak, but also loving the fact that I’ve stunned him speechless—suddenly my torturous preparation for this evening feels well worth the trouble. “You were saying?” I say.

His swallow is noticeable, and he licks his lips slightly before he talks. He starts to laugh a little, and looks down at his feet, rubbing his hand along his neck before meeting my eyes again. “Yeah, not gonna lie—I was totally checking you out just now. You…well,” he’s stam- mering, “you just…you look hot, okay? There, I said it. You look hot.”

He’s sucking in his lips tightly, trying not to show me all his cards, clearly embarrassed. Not wanting to scare him off, I let him off the hook. “Thanks,” I say, taking my turn to look down at my feet. I owe him one for what he’s just given me. “You look pretty hot yourself,” I say, biting my lip when I turn back to him.

His eyes flash with that familiar fire, and then his grin spreads. He holds out an arm for me to take, almost as if he’s leading me into the debutante’s ball rather than taking me out to some old barn and a cornfield that’s probably plagued with mice. He guides me down the stairs and is even with me, step-for-step. His walking seems to be stronger tonight, his limp barely noticeable.

We get to the front door, and he holds it open for me while I walk out. The cold air blasts me in the face instantly. Cody notices my shiver, and his arm is around me tightly again, pulling me into his body even more.

“So, I was saying we need to take your car. My truck’s in need of some new brakes, and I don’t want to get us in any trouble on the country roads,” he says.

“Oh, sure. No problem,” I respond, reaching into my purse to hand Cody my keys. He takes them in his hand and squeezes them, like he’s surprised that I would trust him with this so quickly. Truth is, I probably trust him more than anyone in my life—and that’s part of the problem.

Cody runs to the door and opens it to let me in. Once I’m inside, he dashes around the front to the driver’s side and turns the engine over to get the heat going, but he quickly jumps back out. “Be right back,” he says, shutting the door.

I watch him run, almost smoothly, up the drive to his steps. He’s back in seconds with a black leather jacket, and as soon as he gets back in the car, he drapes it over my lap. I pinch my brow a little, not sure what he means. Are my legs too exposed? Is the sweater too short?

“Cold. You looked cold. I wanted to make sure you were warm enough tonight, so I thought you could use my jacket,” he says, shrug- ging it off, and looking back to the front while he shifts the car into drive.

I look down at his jacket and start to feel it, thinking about all of the times Cody’s worn it—how much of his life has been lived in this jacket, before I knew him. It’s soft, and when I tuck my hands into the sleeves to feel the warmth, it’s comforting and smooth. I pull it up my lap to my chest, pretending that I’m using it to warm up when all I really want to do is smell it. Once I do, I’m flooded with memories of the night I spent in Cody’s arms—it smells just like him, like his room, his shop, and everything about him. I think he may have a hard time getting it back.

The car ride to the haunted house is long and quiet. Cody and Gabe mentioned it was on the other side of town, but it’s actually on the outskirts of the other side of town, in Kent. The entire trip takes about 30 minutes; most of the ride is dark, and along a road I’ve never been on. I keep glancing at Cody, trying to find a conversation starter, but I can’t seem to get the nerve. The quiet isn’t helping, either, giving me time to think about my upcoming trip to Washington, and my relation- ship with Trevor.

Two months ago, I was stashing away wedding magazines, and pining after a proposal. But suddenly I find myself hoping like hell it doesn’t come. All I want now is time. Even if the responsible thing to do is to stay with Trevor, to finish out this thing that I once thought was such a fairytale—I want these few stolen moments of what if. I’ve never had doubts, but then again, I’ve never felt temptation.

I’ve never really felt.

We pull up to the large dirt lot packed with cars and spotlights powered by loud generators, and I’m chewing my fingernails raw with worry. Cody turns the motor off and holds the keys up for me. “Want me to hang onto them?” he says, a nervous smile playing out on his face.

“Yeah. Thanks,” I say. The confidence I was filled with when he first saw me was drained during the stressful ride over here. Too much time to think, time to think about all I’m risking. I’m suddenly afraid; this diversion I’m on, this journey, is dangerous and a bad idea. I’m almost thinking of excuses to end the evening early.

Then I feel him.
I feel him.
It’s amazing what his touch does. He’s at my door and grabbing my hand, refusing to let it go once I’m standing, and instead threading our fingers together like it’s normal, something we’ve always done.

Like he’s mine, and I’m his.

I can’t help but notice the smile on his face when we approach the entrance to meet up with Gabe. He’s proud, but not like I’m some checkbox he’s accrued to meet the standards of those he’s trying to impress. I know it isn’t fair to think—Trevor’s never really made me feel like arm candy. Actually, we’ve always felt like a team. But for some reason, when I’m with Cody, it gives my relationship with Trevor new perspective, and it’s starting to feel a lot less like love.

As we walk up, Gabe nudges his arm into a girl with dark purple hair and a nose ring. I can’t help but flinch when I see her eyes zero in and scowl at my hand in Cody’s. I’m defensive, and find myself pulling in closer to him. I pretend it’s just the cold, but it’s really my irrational fear of judgment from this girl I don’t even know.

“Hey, dude. What the hell, you’re like 20 minutes late,” Gabe says, pounding his fist with Cody’s other hand, and nodding at our hands with a smirk. Cody just rolls his eyes in response and lets go.

“Hey, you,” Gabe says, opening his arms wide to give me a hug, “so glad you decided you were up for this. You’re gonna love it; I promise.”

“Oooookkkayyyyy,” I say, looking around and taking in the screams coming from all directions. I’m not really much of a horror fan, and I’m a little nervous that I might cry in front of them all.

“Hey, this is Jessie,” Gabe says, directing me to Miss Purple-Hair. She’s managed to form a friendlier smile now, but I still notice the hesi- tation in her eyes as we shake hands.

“Hi, Jessie. I’m Charlie. It’s nice to meet you,” I say, using every last socialization skill I’ve learned from Trevor—firm shake, eye contact, follow-up question. Check. “So, how’d you and Gabe meet?”

She seems to like my directness, and I can feel her ice toward me melt, if only a little.

“I’ve known these dickheads since kindergarten,” she says, punching Cody in the arm—hard.

“Oww, bitch. What the hell?” Cody says, rubbing her target, and wincing while he shakes his arm out. I think he’s pissed at first, but then he pulls her in to his side for a tight squeeze.

“Yeah, we all grew up on the same block,” Cody says, winking at Jessie before letting her go. I start to feel jealousy creep in, but she’s back at Gabe’s side the second she leaves Cody, and it’s clear from the way she looks at Gabe that he’s her only interest.

We make our way to a makeshift ticket booth, and Gabe shells out $40. Cody tries to hand him a twenty, but Gabe punches him in the chest lightly and tells him to keep it. I love watching them interact— they truly love each other, like family.

The guys walk ahead as we enter a set of gates to the farm property, and I’m trailing behind with Jessie. I can feel her urge to question me, and I know she will. I can sense how protective she is over the two boys in front of us, so I’m less offended than I was at first, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to give her anything.

“So, I hear you’re dating Trevor?” she goes right in for the kill. I have to admire her for that; she has guts, and I wish I had a fraction of them.

I rub my hand on my cheek, almost as if she slapped me with her question. I nod yes before I speak, giving myself time to form a response, not that it helps.

“Yes, we’ve been dating a little more than a year,” I say, chewing on my tongue and forcing myself to stop.

She meets my eyes and squints a little. She pushes her lips together to form a tight line and then nods. “Right. Well, I’m glad you made friends with Cody. He’s a good guy,” she says, letting the last words linger slowly on her lips, to make sure I understand. And I do—prob- ably more than I let on, or admit.

“Yes. He is,” I say, looking at him as he walks ahead of me now, his arm slung over his friend while he talks in his ear, telling him some dirty joke, or talking about the short skirt in front of them, I’m sure.

Jessie keeps her eyes on me, but she lets up her grilling for the time being. “Hey, douchebags. How about you spend some time with your dates?” she says, kicking at the back of Gabe’s shoes just enough to make him trip.

He turns around in seconds and scoops her up, racing with her to the line at the barn and swinging her around to make her dizzy. Her giggle fills the air—it’s such a foreign sound, her happiness. The way she laughs, so freely and honestly. Nothing rehearsed—just genuine life happening, in the moment.

I turn to Cody, and he smiles with tight lips, and holds his arm out once again, his hands stuffed in his pockets. I can tell he’s a little cold. “Hey, do you need this?” I ask, starting to pull my arms from the sleeves of his jacket. Cody stops me instantly and just pats my hand as he pushes it against his bicep and pulls me in close.

“I’m fine. I got that for you,” he says, looking down at me with a wanting expression. I look away quickly, knowing if I don’t, I’ll be lost. The closer we get to the door, the more nervous I am. I can hear people

screaming, and the strobe lights are giving me short glimpses of fake blood and gory faces inside, making my legs want to run. My heart is pounding, and for once, it’s not because Cody’s next to me. No, this is actual fear.

It’s our turn next, and Gabe and Jessie run in through the dark hall, screaming with laughter. I squeeze onto Cody’s arm tightly and reach up with my other hand to blot away the tear that’s forming in my eye.

I’m pretty sure I’m terrified. I’m done trying to hide it—instincts have taken over, and when we push through the first curtain and a zombie jumps out at me, I clutch onto Cody’s chest with my nails digging in hard.

Jessie and Gabe are long gone, probably joining in on the scaring fun, making others cry for help, no doubt. I’m clinging to Cody like a frightened kitten, wishing I could get closer to him and drown out the sounds. I feel his arm shift, and I panic that he’s trying to push me from him. He doesn’t; instead, he reaches around to the back of my head, pushing my face into his chest, and pulling his jacket up to protect me and hide my eyes.

I can feel his pace pick up, and I just let him guide me the rest of the way through. He steps quickly to the side, and I follow. I’m relieved when I hear a door squeak open and once again recognize the softer sounds we were hearing outside. Cody pulls me over to a bench and sits me down, then kneels in front of me.

“Charlie, are you okay? God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you’d get so scared,” he says, holding both of his hands to my cheeks and tucking my hair behind my ears. I let go of squeezing my eyes shut and open them to see Cody looking right back at me. He isn’t laugh- ing. He isn’t even smiling. He’s just focused on me, and my fear—and making it better. I take a deep breath and reach up to grab his hands.

“I’m okay. I’m okay,” I say, moving to stand. He stands with me and puts his hand under my chin.

“Are you sure?” he’s so worried. And as much as I NEVER want to set foot inside that barn again, I wouldn’t trade the way Cody’s looking at me afterward for anything. I just gulp and nod, unable to speak. He pulls me in for a hug and holds my head to his chest for a full minute before he lets go, and I’m pretty sure I could sleep standing up if it were in his arms.

“We should find Gabe and Jessie,” he says, sliding his hand down my arm and grabbing hold of my fingers. It’s clear he isn’t letting go again.

We find Gabe and Jessie at a lemonade stand, and it’s cute to watch them from a distance. They’re sharing a drink, and even after knowing each other for so long, their love seems so young and new.

“How long have they been dating?” I ask Cody.

He smiles at first, then laughs softly to himself. “Pretty much off and on since the sixth grade. She’s in every school dance picture with Gabe, minus prom—she went to that with me,” he says. I must not hide my jealous response well, because he starts to laugh when he looks at me. “Not as my girlfriend. They weren’t dating at the time, and my date had just dumped me. She felt bad.”

“Oh,” I swallow hard, embarrassed that Cody noticed my green streak. “That was nice of her, though…I can’t really see you getting dumped. Are you sure it wasn’t the other way around?”

Cody’s face gets suddenly serious, and we stop walking. “I’m sure. I was in the chair for six months after my accident, and Kyla, my ex- girlfriend? She just wasn’t up for all that.”

“Hey, man, that was awesome,” Cody leaves me and starts talking to Gabe suddenly, clearly wanting to leave the conversation we were having. I touched on something, and I can tell it was uncomfortable for Cody, something he probably prefers to keep buried, and I get that— probably more than most.

“You okay?” Jessie asks, sliding up next to me, and offering me a drink of some frozen lemon thing.

“Oh, thanks. I’m good. Yeah, that was a little intense,” I gesture to the barn. “I’m sort of a wimp.”

She laughs, and then throws an arm over my shoulder, dragging me to a section filled with rides and carnival games. “Girl, that shit’s scary as hell. I laugh the entire time so I don’t pee myself. You’re not a wimp. You made it through,” she says, slapping down a dollar for a set of three balls. She throws them at a stack of jars and knocks down every single one. The guy hands her a giant stuffed monkey, and she pushes it back at him, scrunching her face. “Just give me the little one. I don’t have room for that thing.”

Jessie tosses the tiny monkey holding a heart to Gabe and blows a kiss in the air. He hugs it like a little boy and rolls his eyes at her, laughing. “I’m gonna marry him someday, you know,” she says, chewing on a stick of gum, and holding out her hand with the pack for me. I take one, hoping it will calm my nerves.

“Yeah? You two are pretty great together,” I say. She looks right at me then, and nods.

“We are. It took awhile, growing up. But we were always great,” she says, turning back to watch her man throw darts—and miss every- thing, not just the balloons. I feel her arm slip through mine and squeeze, and I can tell I just won a level of approval—and maybe a new friend.

We spend an hour walking the game aisles, and Jessie’s the only winner. She wins a stuffed monkey for each of us, and it becomes our inside joke for the rest of the night—naming the monkeys, stealing them and hiding them, then begging to give them back.

We decide to try our hand at the corn maze before we go home. The woman at the entrance gives us each a map and a puzzle piece. If you find the other five pieces hidden in the maze, you win a pie, an entire homemade apple pie. I look at Cody with puppy dog eyes when I find this out.

“Will you win me and the monkey a pie? We want pie, pweeeeese?” I say, holding the small stuffed monkey’s hand and stroking Cody’s chest with it. He busts out laughing and throws his arm around me.

“Sure, come on, Charlie—let’s go win you a pie,” he says, waving the map over his head and pointing in the air like he’s signaling toCharge!

Cody pulls me through the entry to the maze at a quick pace, and he’s jogging at first, passing up a group of junior high girls who giggle when he says, “Excuse me.”

I watch them huddle together and cover their faces while they check Cody out, and I laugh at their exchange—both because it’s adorable to see, and because I could easily join them like we were at some slumber party, making goo-goo eyes at the cute older boy next door.

“They are sooooooo crushing on you,” I joke, elbowing him in the side. He pounds his fists on his chest at my joke, like Tarzan, which only makes me laugh harder.

“I’m all man, of course they’re crushing on me,” he says, almost on the verge of howling.

“Oh my god, you realize you’re bragging about being the pin-up dream for 12-year-olds, don’t you? Don’t get all carried away,” I say, trying to hold in the rest of my laugh.

Cody’s eyebrows lower as he turns his head to look at me and slows our walking down. He’s twisting his lips together, thinking, and then finally settles into a wide smile.

“Uh huh,” he says, and leaves it at that. He walks ahead of me a little, his posture perfect, and his hands dangling from his thumbs looped in his pockets.

“What does that mean?” I ask, brushing into his arm and catching up to his pace.

“Ohhhhh, nothing,” he says, clearly tempting me now. And of course, I set the trap.

“No, really…what does that mean,” I’m actually a little irritated now at his smugness, even though I know he’s only being playful. Cody takes a sharp turn while he’s looking at the map, and I follow him. There’s a table at the end of the passage, and we both look at each other.

“We found one!” we shout, running in the direction of the table with the black cauldron on top. Once we get there, Cody reaches in and pulls out a puzzle piece. I snap it in place with the first one we were given, and I can already tell the puzzle is going to be a pumpkin pie.

Cody holds up his hand to high-five me, but I just look at it and scowl as I walk by. I’m getting my edge back, I can tell, because Cody’s the one catching up with me now.

“Hey, don’t be mad. I was just teasing you,” he says, reaching for my arm to turn me around. I’m not really angry, and I want him to know—I don’t want him thinking I’m a drama queen. I smile when I face him, and I can tell he’s relieved.

“I know, I just hate teasing like that—makes me feel like you’re making fun of me,” I admit.

Cody’s smile falls a little at my words, and he reaches around my body to pull me in for a side hug while we’re walking. “I’m not teasing to be mean. I promise,” he says. “I was just going to say that those girls aren’t the only ones crushing on me…that’s all.”

He can’t look at me while he’s talking, and I’m so glad, because my eyes are wide with guilt, and my breath has stopped. It’s the most blatant admission he’s made about our flirting, and I’m not going to deny it, because yes—I’m crushing on Cody Carmichael. Hell, I’m doing more than that—I’m freaking falling for him!

I notice his smirk, and it matches my own. I hear him almost start to speak more than once, and each time, my heart thumps in antic- ipation.

“I have an idea—it’s a game we can play, you know, while we trek through the rest of this farmland and spend an hour looking for four puzzle pieces so you can get a pie,” he says, taunting me.

“Hey, that’s homemade pie, thank you very much!” I defend.

“Right, totally worth it then,” he says, a sassy snarkiness to his tone. I roll my eyes in response.

“Okay, what’s this game you propose?” I say, sighing a little for emphasis even though I can’t wait to hear the rules.

“Okay, well, it’s called tit for tat,” he says, and I laugh as soon as the words leave his mouth, resulting in a disapproving glare.

“Sorry,” I say, slapping my hand over my mouth to keep my reac- tion in check.

“Don’t make fun of the name. It’s just what we’ve called it for years —no judging,” he says and I nod, crossing my heart while I do. “Me and Gabe used to play with Jessie and a few of our other friends in junior high and high school. It’s sort of like truth or dare—with a twist.”

I’m intrigued. I’m not sure how much I’m willing to share, but the desire of learning some of Cody’s secrets has an undeniable pull on my heart. Cody continues to explain.

“I’ll start. Here’s how it works, I share something with you, and you have to share something equal back with me. It’s fair, because the person asking has to answer their own question first, make sense?” he asks, biting at the inside of his cheek, almost worried that I’ll pass on his idea.

I think about it, and decide there isn’t much I have left to hide from Cody, and even those sheltered parts of me are ones I’m more willing to share with him than others. My only concern is the dare part of the

game, but I feel pretty confident that Cody won’t lead me into anything dangerous or humiliating, so I go for it.

“I’m in,” I say, holding his stare, not wanting him to see the mess of nerves I am underneath it all.

We’re barely walking, and Cody lowers his brow before he speaks again. “I was 16 the first time I had sex,” he says, and whoooooooosh, all color is gone from my face. Holy hell! I didn’t think he would hit so far below the belt this early in the game. I’m not sure I want Cody to know this part, but I’m not chickening out this early. I turn away from him before I answer.

“I was 20,” I swallow, knowing he knows what this means, and who it was with. I clench my teeth while I think of my next move; I wasn’t expecting this to stress me out so much. There are so many things I want to know, so I decide to take a small risk since he asked such a personal question to start.

“I’ve only been in love once, and I don’t even know if it’s real,” I say, letting out a heavy sigh with my admission, and also bracing myself for Cody’s response.

“Me, too,” he says. His answer comes fast, but it’s short and power- ful. I know he’s talking about the girl in the picture, the girl I’m pretty sure is Kyla—the one that left him when she thought he was broken, and he probably needed her most.

“The night you slept in my room…in my arms?” he starts, his voice giving out slightly. “That’s the happiest I’ve been since my dad died.”

The heaviness of his confession smacks me hard in the chest, and I lose my footing a little. Cody notices, and pulls me next to him, but doesn’t say anything. His focus is on our feet and the path in front of us. We’re not following the map any longer, but rather meandering around winding rows of corn, avoiding the crowded areas at all costs.

I don’t know how to answer his confession, so I say the closest thing that comes to mind. “That night was the scariest decision I’ve ever made,” I say, almost a whisper. I tell him the truth, though he doesn’t know all of the details of the turmoil that played out in my heart and head that night—or now, for that matter.

“I don’t take a lot of risks,” I say, almost ashamed of the way I’ve floated through life, letting it happen to me rather than actively participating. Every experience, the painful moments and the happy ones, playing out around me like a movie. I’m never the star, but I feel it all the same.

“I take too many,” Cody says, looking down at his feet as he comes to a complete stop. He rubs his hands over his face then tucks his thumbs inside his sleeves and crosses his arms, trying to get warm. I move a little closer out of instinct. The closer I get, the more Cody fidgets, and soon he’s staring at the sky above us.

He takes in a deep breath, and blows it out slowly, letting his lips vibrate softly, before he looks at me again. Long seconds pass, then finally, his right cheek pulls up into a tight dimple, his mouth a half- smile. “I want to kiss you. I’ve wanted to since the first time we met, but I really want to kiss you now,” he says, his arms falling limp to his sides, with a tired shrug, letting it all out for me to see—his declaration a challenge, a dare, the twist to the game.

I close my eyes and force my feet to move my body closer, and I swear I can feel the nervous patter inside his chest as well. Without looking at him, knowing I’ll never be able to say what I want to say if I do, I take the dare.

“I want you to kiss me,” I say, biting my lower lip, but unable to quell the numbing tingle that’s taken over my lips and tongue. I hear his breath hitch, but I keep my eyes closed, only reaching my hands up to grip the soft fabric of his shirt for strength. I know it’s my turn, and I know I’ve gone down a road that can’t be retraced—there are no U- turns here.

Deep breath.

“For once in my life, I want to live,” I say, hoping Cody understands what I mean.

The cold air whipping through the towering stalks around us sends goose bumps all over my body, and I know I’m starting to shake visibly—both from the frosty chill in the air and the complete vulnera- bility I’m displaying. I lift my eyes open hesitantly, terrified that I won’t find Cody’s eyes looking back at me. But they are. They’re still and crystal—and deliberating. He isn’t blinking. He isn’t breathing. He’s only looking at me, trying to decide if this game he started has gone on long enough, and I’m so afraid that he thinks it has.

Cody slides his hands up from my elbows to my hands that are now clutching desperately at his shirt. His eyes never leave mine, and he never flinches. He pulls my fingers loose from his thermal, and presses my hands flat together within his, pulling them to his mouth. My insides tremble watching him as he touches his lips slowly and softly to my freezing hands, pulling me even closer while he does.

He holds them flat against his chest with one hand, while he slides his other hand along the side of my neck, his thumb stroking the line of my chin first, and then my bottom lip. His eyes leave mine for the first time when he does this, his attention lost to my mouth, and when his tongue slips slightly from his parted lips and grazes his teeth, I shiver.

Cody is taking his time; it’s sweet and wonderful, and achingly torturous—I never want this to end. He pushes his fingers deeper into my hair while he erases the few inches left between us. He drops his other hand from mine, which are now locked onto his chest, and slowly sweeps the few strands of hair blowing across my face to the side and behind my other ear.

He pulls my face close to his, and I watch as his eyes lock onto mine—neither of us willing to close them, wanting to witness every moment of this. His gaze flicks to my lips again, and I hold my breath in anticipation. The first touch is gentle, a taste of what’s to come. The next time Cody pulls my top lip in between both of his, teasing me with his teeth and a soft stroke of his tongue, which fills my body with a rush of need and want so strong that I open wide in response.

My hands slide from his chest to his back, holding him closer, and not wanting to let go. With my permission, Cody slides his tongue deeper into my mouth with a sensual push and pull, his lips strong and hungry against mine. He keeps one hand in my hair, holding my head tightly to his, while his other hand slides down the side of my body, his thumb barely grazing my breast along the way. His hand comes to rest on the lower part of my back, and I bow to the pressure of his strength as he moves me even closer into him.

I feel him, every bit of him, hard and hot and strong against me, and I’ve never felt more alive. I know in that second that if we weren’t in the middle of a field surrounded by families, and strangers, and—oh god—Cody’s best friends…I wouldn’t be able to stop. I would give in—give myself over to him.

We both pull back at the same time when we hear the familiar giggles closing in on us, but our hands are still linked when Gabe and Jessie round the corner and scream out of surprise from running into us. I feel the sweat cover my body instantly—unsure if it’s from the panic at being caught or the desire coursing through me.

I notice Jessie’s reaction, and I’m not sure if it’s a smirk or a warning, but at this very moment I don’t care—I don’t care that what I did was possibly the most wrong decision I’ve ever made, or that I might be throwing away everything safe based on a kiss. All I care about is that Cody’s fingers are still looped through mine, and our pulses are in sync.

“Look!” Gabe says, holding up a baggie with a complete set of puzzle pieces, completely oblivious to our out-of-breath panting, “Free pie!”